Still Loving You
by CodyRhodesFan
Summary: For KimberAnnBRAND. "I need you. I want you. I love you." Matt gripped onto Phil's hand as he kneeled down, pulling out a black box from his pocket. "I want you to marry me. I want to have a family with you." TWOSHOT.
1. Part One

**For the ChipMUNK Exchange, I wrote like two one-shots before but decided they sucked eggs so I decided to give it one more go. I'm not going to retype it again even if it sucks. I tried so damn hard to make it nice but I hate every one-shot I write so this isn't too surprising that I hated this one too. Maybe only 'Broken Brown Eyes' and 'Spend the Night', my horror Junk one-shots are acceptable but the rest…no…XP.**

**Insanity from meh. I won't stop rambling. Fine. This is for KimberAnnBRAND, amazing chica, better check her fics soon. X3. **

* * *

Still Loving You  
Rated: +18 – sad; romantic; humor; sex  
Summary: For KimberAnnBRAND. "I need you. I want you. I love you." Matt gripped onto Phil's hand as he kneeled down, pulling out a black box from his pocket. "I want you to marry me. I want to have a family with you." TWOSHOT.  
Genre: Romance/General

* * *

_Part One_

* * *

"Come on, Phil. Smile."

"Fuck you."

"You did."

A groan escaped Phil's lips as he covered his head into his pillow, trying to forget the rest of the world but Matt was making it very hard for him as Matt reached out to touch Phil's shoulders but Phil groaned, moving his shoulder, so Matt couldn't touch him and Matt rolled his eyes. "Come on, Philly."

"No…I was so damn embarrassed."

"I know, baby. Now look at me."

"No."

"Come on."

"No."

Matt leaned towards Phil and captured his lips into a kiss and Phil deepened it as his arms wrapped around Matt's neck and Matt moved to get on top of Phil as a giggle escaped Phil's mouth.

Phil was sixteen years old. Matt was twenty, going on twenty one.

"Next week is your birthday," Phil said, biting at Matt's lower lip as Matt moaned and held his back, nodding his head at Phil's notion before their tongues entwisted together in a kiss, tasting the sweet taste. Matt moved away so that Phil could breathe before he nodded his head. "Yeah, next week's my birthday."

Phil giggled.

"Can I have my present now?" Matt said, tugging at Phil's pants and Phil grinned before they heard the sound of the door slowly opening so Matt jumped up, and picked up a book that was beside him and opening the first page as Phil's mother had walked in and told Matt that they were off to bed now so it was best he'd be going. Her eyes were demanding him to go. Matt tried to convince her that they only kiss and that he was a man that respected Phil's age and body but in truth, they had fucked. But then again, Matt had been in a relationship with Phil for a year.

As soon as the woman had left the room after Matt convinced her that he needed to talk to Phil about something important, something on her face said that she felt as if it was a break up from his seriousness and when Matt turned around, 'sneaking out?"

Phil nodded his head. "Just go outside."

Matt went outside and left Phil alone to pretend to be asleep when his mother and father had checked on him and with that, he locked the door, a habit that he used to do so that 'the monsters wouldn't get into the room' when he was young that he'd adapted on now and his father and mother never expected anything more as Phil looked down from the window. Matt's arms were reaching out for him as Phil jumped, holding onto the edge of the window before falling and he fell on Matt, causing both of them to giggle. "Baby."

Oh fuck. Phil was doing that seductive sound that had always gotten to Matt. Matt's arms wrapped around Phil's waist as he pulled him up and his low rise jeans so that a bit of his blue thong showed.

"Fuck."

Matt pulled Phil towards his car and basically threw him onto the backseat, showering him with kisses as he shut the door behind him and he still let his sloppy kisses kiss at Phil's skin, the addictive pill that was Phil, underneath him and Matt shut the door, continuing his kissing, going from Phil's mouth and neck, playing with the hem of Phil's shirt. And he pulled it off quickly, letting his clothed chest feel his hot chest as Matt continued to shower him with kisses.

Phil was now biting at Matt's neck, furiously as Matt kissed Phil's mouth, both of them working to bite and kiss each other and Phil's hands went up Matt's wife beater, pulling it off as quickly as he could've, both of them breathless and short, hot breaths were on their faces as Matt unzipped Phil's pants, knowing that they'd usually pool down his ankles on their own as he continued to kiss Phil who was now playing with the zipper of his jeans, pulling it down so that Matt's boxers were exposed. Phil licked his lips as he threw the jeans in front seat, watching as Matt grabbed onto Phil's hand and moved it towards his cock and Phil grabbed, feeling Matt's thick length. Phil's eyes burned with desire as he pulled down his own pants himself, revealing his blue thong. Matt smirked, 'you bought that for me, didn't you?"

"Hell yeah," Phil smirked, as Matt played with the string of Phil's underwear, making the string hit Phil's hips before Matt pulled off the underwear, smirking at the sight of Phil's dick. Phil finally threw Matt's boxers towards the front seat as Matt continued to suck onto Phil's shoulder, biting and licking at the flesh. "Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me…" Matt sang to himself.

"Ahh, my ears are bleeding." Phil joked as Matt bit hard onto Phil's shoulder before he trailed down and bit at Phil's nipples, causing Phil to close his eyes as Phil's lips found Matt's neck as he bit and nibbled onto his neck. Matt's hand went towards Phil's cock as he grabbed onto it as hard as he could've, making Phil moan, a soft moan. Matt's finger then trailed across Phil's ass crack, feeling the wetness of him as he smirked, pushing a finger in as deep as he could've, making Phil moan once more but in Phil's eyes, there was lust, a lust for even more and more.

"Fuck this, just fuck me."

Matt shook his head as he stuck another finger in, wiggling them in Phil's ass, making Phil feel unexplainable pleasure. Matt kissed Phil's neck, 'fuck me, Matt."

"No."

"Fuck me now. As hard as you could."

"How should I do it?" Matt teased.

"I want you to fuck me as hard as you can. I want your huge, thick cock in me right now, pushing and driving into me and out, fast and hard…" another moan escaped his lips. "I want your fucking soul to be connected with mine. I want to feel like I'm a part of you…and I want you to come in me…Matt!"

Matt knew that he was torturing Phil since he seemed to break out in a sweat now and they hadn't done anything as Matt's other hand looked through the car's glove compartment for a type of lube and grinned when he'd seen two bottles of Johnson's baby oil fall from it. He reached out to get it, and smirked as he pooled some in his hand before smothering it on Phil's chest, causing him to giggle.

He'd pooled the rest of the oil in his hand again as he smothered his back and ass, both at once, pushing a finger inside of his ass, making Phil moan as Phil took the other bottle of baby oil and squeezed the bottle so it could fall, rubbing Matt's back with it then making his way towards Matt's ass, pushing a finger inside of his ass and then rubbing it against the back of his legs and his thighs, both of them working on each other's bodies, trying not to leave a trace of their bodies dry. When both of their skin was oily and the bottles' contents were gone, Matt smirked as he slipped inside of Phil and it slid in so fast that it hit Phil's spot fast and hard.

Phil let out a moan as Matt's arms wrapped around Phil's shoulder and he slipped out, the lack of friction making it easily as Matt's hands threatened to slip off Phil's shoulders but that was what he adored about oil. That it was slippery and it made him slip in and out of Phil easily. Matt had pushed himself inside a few more times before Phil had started grabbing onto Matt's hair and playing with it. Every time that Matt slid in, Matt's hair was being pulled and tugging on by Phil and that annoyed Matt but he didn't mind it too badly since he was too occupied shoving himself inside of Phil, pounding himself in him as deep as he could've.

With one more thrust, he had come inside of Phil.

"More. More."

Matt's eyes widened but he smirked. He loved that Phil always wanted more and he took a longer time than him to come so he shoved himself inside once more, forcing him to pound into him and it took a few more pounds for Phil to come.

"Goodnight, baby."

"Goodnight, Matt."

And with that, they collapsed on top of each other, both still oily but too tired to try and clean up. Matt had flipped their positions, leaving Phil on top of him and him lying down since they were about to sleep. Matt's hand was stroking Phil's back as he kissed his lips one final time as the scent of sex and baby oil burned in the air.

* * *

At 5 in the morning, Matt had nudged his lover awake and Phil said his goodbyes before wearing his clothing and going up to the window of his room and showering and dressing up before going downstairs.

Matt smirked as he went home himself back to Gilbert's house before showering and dressing himself.

Jeff was knocking on the door and walking inside, giggling his notorious, famous giggle as Matt came out of the bathroom with wet hair and a towel over clothes as he sat down at Jeff who seemed to rise up with the sun. "Where were you last night?"

"The boys."

"Yeah, they said something about that."

By 'the boys', Matt met Adam, Chris, and Randy and Jeff knows that as he giggles and walks out of the room, reminding Matt to go downstairs for breakfast.

* * *

That night, the Brook's and the Hardy's had a gathering over the Hardy household.

Phil sat next to Jeff who looks away from him every minute and Matt sighed, sitting next to one of Phil's ten thousand sisters or stepsisters, he can't really tell the difference anymore as Jeff tried to act polite towards Phil even if the look of disgust was still plastered on his face. Jeff never really understand why Matt would want someone like Phil, young and still inexperienced. Jeff was the same himself but if he'd date anyone a year above his age, Matt would look over him like a hawk.

He found it unfair that Phil was four years younger than Matt but Phil's parents approved of the relationship.

"Phil…" Matt's voice was filled with a type of seriousness that Phil had never heard before as Phil stared at Matt. "Can I speak to you for a second?"

Gilbert's eyes were infatuated with glee and so were the other parent's, _'for sure it's a breakup'_, and Jeff grinned as well. Everyone did but Phil was so damn nervous it hurt as he stood and walked with Matt outside of the room and walking towards the pool of the Hardy household.

"Yes, Matt?"

"I need you. I want you. I love you." Matt gripped onto Phil's hand as he kneeled down, pulling out a black box from his pocket. "I want you to marry me. I want to have a family with you."

Phil's eyes bubbled with tears as a gasp escaped his lips.

"Is that a yes or a no?" Matt asked, chuckling, still building up with nervousness as Phil stood up and embracing him warmly before slapping his back.

"Yes, you asshole."

"Ouch." Matt laughed before pulling Phil off, placing the black box onto Phil's hand and Phil took a quick breath before opening the box to reveal the dazzling topaz ring. "Remember, Pepperoni?"

Phil nodded. Pepperoni, or sometimes called P. Bear, was Phil's cat that had been dear to him since he had since he was ten years old that had passed away recently because of a disease. She had orange and white fur and her eyes were the warmest topaz color ever. Matt slipped the ring into Phil's finger. "In memory of Roni."

Matt kissed Phil's cheek and made his way back to the dinner, ready to face the probable shouting that he was going to hear.

When they'd seen the ring on Phil's finger, they instantly knew and Phil's father stood up, so did Gilbert. Jeff's eyes were about to pop from shock.

"No way I'm letting your pedophile son touch mine!"

"Matt, you are not going to marry a sixteen year old boy!"

"Damn right!"

Matt shook his head as Phil slipped into his chair and buried his pink face but Matt stood and talked. "I'm not going to marry Phil…"

"You're doing this just to get him into bed, aren't you?!"

Matt laughed. "Hell no! I love Phil with every fiber of my being and I won't ever use him like this! Plus, I've already fucked him so it—"when he realized what he was saying, his entire face went pink.

'SHIT!'

"WHAT?!"

Both of the father's exclaimed.

Phil's father looked at Gilbert, 'you know I should have your boy go to jail for doing this. Pressuring my boy to sleep with him! Phil's only sixteen…your son intoxicated his mind! Hell, he wasn't even gay before he met that…UGH!"

"Dad!" Phil exclaimed, his eyes widening. "He didn't pressure me!"

"I'd never do something like that. Hell, your son was the one that seduced me with that thong of his."

Phil blushed once more, slapping Matt. "And you tell everyone about this?!"

Matt sighed as he looked at his father and Phil's, 'look, I may have gone a little too physical with Phil but we used protected each and every time."

'_Except this week.'_

"And I care about Phil. Hell, if I would be just a hook up, I wouldn't ask Phil to marry me."

"Still…" Gilbert said, 'the kid's still sixteen, Matt. He's got his studies and college waiting for him. You—I can understand. You have a job but Phil, Phil's still too young to get married."

"I don't care about the wedding's day but I want Phil to be engaged to me. Hell, I love Phil. I love Phil with every fiber of my being that it's unhealthy, 'Matt said, pressing Phil's body close to his, causing Phil to giggle.

With that, the two father's stared at each other before nodding their heads together.

That night, Phil and Matt lay together and the door remained open since Phil's father refused to allow them to close the door because he knew that he didn't want them to start fucking each other.

Matt's lips went towards Phil's and they kissed for a brief moment before Phil pressed himself against Matt. "I love you." Phil responded.

"You're engaged to me, 'Matt almost couldn't believe it himself but he loved the thought of having Phil by his side until the day he died. This lust and friendship had evolved into love and now, as Matt stroked Phil's back, now a habit, holding him close to him, he didn't care about the rest of the world—everything just seemed to melt.

* * *

That morning, Phil woke up to the scent of Matt against him.

He wasn't used to having Matt in his bed, both of them together like this but he loved it. He loved it as much as he could've.

"I had a good dream."

"Yeah?"

Matt stood up and watched as Phil walked towards the bathroom and he followed him, watching Phil strip out of his clothes and Matt eyed him hungrily before stripping his clothes himself, causing Phil to start laughing.

"Why is it that every time I get naked, you have to fuck me?"

"You've seen that ass lately? So damn fuckable."

Phil opened his shower as Matt stepped in with him and they knew they had to do it fast because for one thing, when they did start the foreplay, then that would end up in a heated session that would last for at least an hour and they needed to be fast since they were already late for breakfast.

Matt started pounding inside of Phil while Phil let the water coat them and since Matt wasn't using any lubricant, it hurt more than usual but Phil wasn't complaining at all. He still loved the feeling of Matt in him—even if it hurt and the way that Matt still continued to suck and nibble at his neck even if they were in a hurry. It was astounding. After they were done, both of them walked outside and Phil had given Matt his most oversized clothing which hugged him perfectly. "Why'd you have this around?"

"Just in case my brother visits. He's kinda a little bit more fatter than me and he always loves my sweats so instead of him suffocating in mine, I bought him his own."

"Oh."

Phil wore his own clothing as they both leaned in for a kiss. "So what's that dream about?" Matt asked, running his hand through Phil's hair.

"You. Me. Married. With kids."

Matt almost stopped in his place. "Children?"

"Why? Don't you want children?"

"You're sixteen."

"But I want one."

"You're sixteen fucking years old, Phil."

"I know how old I am but I think I can handle one!" Phil exclaimed, his eyes bubbling with anger.

"A baby changes everything."

"Are you…are you going to leave me?" Phil suddenly looks at him with concern as Matt plants a soft kiss on Phil's lips.

"No, just need some time to think, alright, baby?"

"You want to leave me…" Phil turned his body around so that Matt didn't catch the sight of his face bubbling with tears. "You want to leave me, don't you?"

"Phil, fine, you want a baby. I'll give you a baby, just don't cry, okay, baby?" With that, Phil turned around and grinned at him before hugging him, embracing him into a sweet embrace and then kissing his nose.

"Thank you, Matty. You have no idea how happy you've made me."

But in the back of Matt's mind, all he could feel was horror. Phil wanted a baby? He was sixteen! He can't handle babysitting his niece…a baby…dammit. He had to do something about this. How could he set his mind off babies? Matt sighed once more before he kissed Phil one more time before they both hopped away.

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**That's part one. Keep your eyes open for the second part. X3! Thanks, KimberAnnBRAND for your ficcy. I luff you. X3. Review?? **

**X Sam.**


	2. Part Two

**XD. I was supposed to work on a second part for this a long time ago…XD. But I just remembered while surfing through a few of mah older fics. :3 So here comes to you—Still Loving You, Part 2. With the fluffiest ending I can do. XP.**

_Part Two_

Matt didn't know how they got into this mess.

Instead of picking out books or clothing, they were in an orphanage—picking out a baby that Phil wanted. And Matt thought of a way to explain this to his parents but just seeing Phil's face light up as he held the babies, with his caring arms, made Matt's heart melt into nothing at all.

Matt kissed the back of Phil's neck as Phil held a little baby girl by the name of Angelique. "I want her." Phil's voice was soft.

She was tiny, with black curls and soft olive eyes. Phil wanted her 'cause she looked like him. She even had the same exact structure of Matt's nose. It was easy to believe that she belonged to them—and Matt blushed as Phil planted a kiss on the nose, knowing Phil's thoughts. Matt did the adoption papers while Phil just held her into her arms, Matt lied about everything while the woman just stared at Matt and then looked over at Phil. "He doesn't look older than seventeen."

"Um…"

"How old is he?"

"He turned sixteen…but…he wants the baby so much." Matt was begging now, his pleading hot liquid brown eyes wanting nothing more than to please Phil at that moment and the woman looked down before allowing a smirk to find its way to his lips as she leaned down and whispered something into his ear.

His heart doubled over but he nodded his head as she took him over towards a closet and he unbuttoned her shirt and bit down at the flesh, throwing everything he felt horrible…he was gay and there was also the harder fact was that he loved Philip Jack Brooks with all of his heart.

…he didn't do it for himself.

He did it because he wanted to keep that smile on Phil's lips.

'_Phil…I'm sorry.'_

**StillLovingYou**

Later on, Phil just kept on holding onto Angelique. He twirled from happiness then stopped in mid-twirl, dread filling his eyes… "But what about my parents?" he just thought about that and his eyes widened.

Matt kissed Phil's forehead. "…they'll understand, baby."

"No. My Dad won't!" Phil's eyes were now blurring with tears. "He'd hit me. He'd throw me over the ocean! He hates the fact that you ruined me!"

"I ruined you?" Matt slapped Phil, making him scrunch down and he was trying to grip onto the now crying baby as Phil stared at Matt, the red mark on his flesh throbbing. "…you…are…a…bitch…" Matt didn't care about hurting Phil for the moment.

Matt turned around and faced Jeff, who was standing there with Gilbert and Phil's father.

They didn't even realize where they were and who could be watching. Matt curled his lips into a curved frown and Phil just allowed the tears to cascade down his face as he stepped back, trying to avoid the hit that was sure to come from his father.

"You got a baby?" Phil's father's eyes were burning with anger. "You. Are. Sixteen. Years. Old. I swear! This is all because of your son! If it wasn't for that stupid proposal…then my Phil would be normal, upstairs, in his room, studying and chatting and thinking about high school zits. Not this."

Phil turned around and ran off.

"Phil!" Matt exclaimed, sprinting off after him.

Phil was sobbing now, crying so badly that the tears felt like they would make tracks.

"Phil! Baby!"

Matt lost Phil and Angelique and stopped in his place, heavily breathing while he turned around to face his own father and Phil's. "I'm sorry." Matt whispered under his breath. "I can't say no to him. He wanted children…and a house…and I wanted to give him that. I wanted to make his dreams come true…"

Phil's father hit him hard, causing Matt to throw backwards and hit the floor.

"I never want to see your face in my house again."

Matt nodded his head. "T-t-t-that's…understandable." His voice was stammering and his lips were quivering, thinking of his sweet Phil, who had nowhere to go, nobody to turn to, with frail Angelique in his arms, scared and alone, helpless in the black night that was going to overtake the sky soon enough…

**StillLovingYou**

Phil was curling into a ball, Angelique into his arms, and the thought of everything that closing up on him then he thought of returning Angelique as Phil stepped towards the orphanage, holding her close to him and then he heard the sound of the woman, the woman that disappeared with Matt for a moment…

"I swear, that eighteen year old boy knew how to have sex…he was lovely, rough…and I wanted it all over again. His name was Matthew I think. Matthew Moore Hardy. He came in with a sixteen year old boy."

Phil was gasping now, shaking in his place as he ran off, tears blurring his vision again and he was running so fast and his heart was beating harder and harder, the pain hitting him harder and harder…

Matt…

His love…

Matt…

Cheated on him with a thirty year old lady.

Phil was laughing to himself as he fell down towards the ground and he was holding onto his baby, who was now crying, and somehow, along the lines, rain started falling and he was still holding onto the crying baby, feeling himself demolish bit by bit every second that passed, as if his heart was eating every in him, destroying him…

Into nothing.

"I love him." Phil whispered under his breath as rain pelted against his flesh. "I love him…Matt…"

Phil was holding onto Angelique as if he were holding onto Pepperoni, stroking her back and closing his eyes and just thinking as the world went on while his world crashed down in seconds and seconds and the more he tried to fix it with his thoughts, the more it broke…and broke…

And broke.

Until nothing was left of it.

And nothing was left of Phil.

**StillLovingYou**

Matt was holding onto the knife, twirling it around his fingers.

He wanted to kill himself, end his life, there was no life without his Phil…he was sure he was going to do it, when the clock stroke _11:47_, the time that both of their lips met in the first kiss they ever had and it was the same day as well, Matt's fingers were holding onto the knife, griping firmly.

And then he heard the doorbell ring.

Matt remembered the night so badly.

They were dancing and Matt's feet were suddenly dancing towards the door as well and he opened it up onto to be met with a basket, adorned with Phil's shirt, and nothing else. Matt took the basket in, opening it only to see Angelique there, sitting in the rain for five more minutes must've hungered her but she was asleep, cuddled and safe into her cocoon. Phil must've fed her…

Matt laid her down onto the couch, throwing her blanket over her and looking at the basket again, only to see a note there. Matt reached, his hands shaking and trembling and he was so scared but he wanted to see it so bad as well.

He wanted to know the words and still, he was afraid of what would be written.

_I was listening to Scorpions again, today. Our song. "Still Loving You" and I pondered and pondered about what to write but I know that I can't stay Matt. I can't stay here…in this horrible Hell…I can't take it anymore. Everyone sees me so differently, everyone hates me…everyone doesn't accept me. I could remember only the look of revolt I caused in the people I loved the most and even if you held through me all…I understand now. Your love is a drug, a drug that I overtake and overuse and I've let that control my life for so long. I've always loved you, Matthew Moore Hardy._

_I always will and I deserve every inch of pain that is pulsing through my veins right now. Every drop of rain that falls is every inch of pain that stabs through me, hurdling me in this world of pain and agony and you…you were there to save me. Now, I have to save myself but if I can't save myself, how am I going to save Angelique from this damned life I have? I didn't give her up because I thought you could do a better job. I know you can. She doesn't deserve to suffer along the road because of me._

_I have nothing but the clothes I wear, and the memories that we shared to guide me through the side to salvation. I want to achieve my dreams, to be more than just Phil Brooks into their eyes. I remember watching "PS, I love you" with you, cuddling to you and crying and I remember every kiss we shared, every night that seemed to last forever… I remember the last song that played and the first that played._

_Still Loving You. By Scorpions._

_It was our song. It's still our song and I now that I'll never truly be away from you. Every time I hear that song, I know that there are your eyes, closing and listening to the same song and I can almost feel your arms wrap around me, just by listening to that song…I love you so much, Matthew Moore Hardy. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I love you more than I've loved myself…_

_And I still do._

_No matter what you say, I'll always find my way back to you…and wherever I am, look around, Matt…look around… Jeff's eyes is the color of the sweater you got me for my birthday. Angelique is a memory, a memory of how much you love me…and I want to see her grow up. I want to keep sending you these letters but it's a distraction to the path I want to take. I want to be able to do this myself…_

_And one day, I want to wake up, naked, and playing my flute, in a room with you, just you and me… just to hear Angelique's bubbly voice again and to hear you sing to me our song, in that melodic voice of yours…one day, I will be able to do that. But only after I've finished my education, we can come back and that day…perhaps the greatest day of my life…_

_I know I've made a promise._

_I've made a promise, with this ring I swore to wear all my life, that I'll always return to you, I'll always be there to love you…through thick and thin, love and hate, sickness and health, sanity and insanity…I'll always be there, no matter what you do—you'll still see my face in an old photograph and those memories are more real than I am right now._

_I'm sorry._

_I'm so sorry…_

_I still love you._

_And even if I die, even if I get sick, even in those days that I can't move in, Pepperoni's soul will always be there, playing with me, licking me, asking for you to hold her…I can hear her right now…ready to take me soon enough…and I will wait for you. I'll wait for you, in life and in death. To hold you again. In the sweet gates of Heaven. Where our love has built us a castle…made of our love._

**StillLovingYou**

**Aww… that ish so adorable. XD. Okay. Bittersweet. -_- But hey, I didn't kill him! XP. THAT COUNTS FOR SOMETHING! …and take out all the angst and pain and stuff, there's a bit of fluff surrounding the corners of that letter. They're in love and they're alive. What more do you want from meh? XD.**

**X Sam.**


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